Saturday, November 23, 2019

Tempus Fugit...the older I get the faster it goes!

Well, look here. The old dusty blog is still hanging around. It's been almost a year since my last post. And to think, about this time last year I told myself that I was going to breathe some new life into the old Simple Contemplations Blogspot. And what happened? Life happened!. You're walking along, minding your own business and what happens? You get busy, you get sick, you get better, you get sick....and you just plain start to slow down. Work becomes harder. Exercise and staying fit becomes harder. Being creative becomes harder. Getting along with people gets harder. And to top it all off, you realize that you're almost 65 and still haven't figured out where you fit in.
I once had a job that I liked ( don't get me wrong, I like my current job as much) and lived in a city that I absolutely loved. Everything that I liked to do was within minutes of my home. Bicycling trails, hiking trails, lakes with swimming, and neat shops and places to eat. And what happened to all of that? The owner of the company that I worked for did what companies sometimes do....hire  a new general manager with absolutely no experience in the industry with no idea of how to do what you do....And what do they do? Instead of trying to learn about your business and processes and why you do what you do they try to re-invent it from the ground up. Forget that it wasn't broken. Forget that it didn't need fixing. Forget that they just ain't going to listen to a damn word you say because they've decided that they're smarter than you. What happens then? In my case, the rat bastard made my life miserable with his management style that consisted of bullying, badgering, cussing, and berating. There is only so much of that a person can take. But, when you get to the point of thinking that there might just be a quick way out of this misery you get a call with a job offer "back home" that literally saves your life. A good job with good people. And did I say "back home"? Yeah, back home. I had visions of reconnecting with old friends and getting closer to my family. I envisioned have Sunday dinners and family get togethers where we all just enjoyed being in each others' company. My wife gave up a seventeen year job that she absolutely loved so that we could move "back home". I owe her so much!
Well...guess what? You can't go home again. People change; you no longer have that much in common with old friends and for reasons totally unknown, family gatherings are awkward. You're the one who moved away. You're the one who had to work and couldn't always make it home for holidays. The one who wasn't always there when Mom and Dad needed help or the just needed someone to be with them. And the people who were there do remember.
I've realized lately that I just don't fit in "back home" I'm happy here but not really content. I think of running away but then there's the mortgage, the car payment, health insurance; oh yeah, health insurance! Over a thousand dollars a month just for health insurance. I'd said all along that I'd like to work until I'm 67 or thereabouts. I still like my job and it pays me well but truth be known, I'd love to retire now. Just can't afford it. I never planned for this part of my life, always going and doing and spending as if the money was just going to keep flowing for eternity. Almost 65 and not a lick of savings. How stupid is that? Man, what a dumb-ass I turned out to be....Oh well, I guess I've rambled enough....Going to go think a bit about selling this old house, take whatever profit I can get out of it and getting the heck out of here! This isn't really going anywhere so I guess I'll wrap it for now....maybe more thoughts later.

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