Thursday, July 10, 2025

A Personal History (abridged)

Updated from the 2005 original

It was one of those cold, lazy weekends when I meant to do everything but ended up doing nothing. Yard work went undone, the garage remained cluttered, and the leaves stayed scattered. I did make it into the office for a few hours on Sunday, but for the most part, I just let the weekend slip by. Feeling a bit guilty, I decided I should at least write something—if only for the sake of recording it. I doubt many folks read these posts beyond a few family members, but writing helps me sort through things. So here it is: a brief sketch of my early life—the kind of rambling story you might hear at a family gathering over coffee and cobbler.

I was born in 1955 in Leeds, Alabama, in a small building known as Davis Clinic. By the time I made my entrance into the world, the clinic was already being converted into a dental office. A year later my sister Janet would be the last baby ever delivered there. 

I had a happy, well-loved childhood. When I was about four, my family briefly moved to St. Augustine, Florida. I don’t remember much from that time—except for a hurricane that flooded our yard all the way up to the porch. That was a lot of water, considering our house was raised about four feet off the ground.

After Florida, we moved back to Leeds, then soon relocated again to Midland City, Alabama, where we lived for about six months. My dad, LeRoy Howard, worked for Hayes Aircraft and was often sent to different places to service airplanes. That kind of movement was normal for us. Eventually, we returned to Leeds for good, and I started first grade.

My dad always stressed the importance of doing well in school. He was a smart, capable man—especially when it came to math and mechanics. He could build just about anything, and he had a way of making it look easy. One of my proudest childhood memories was visiting his workplace and seeing the massive rockets he helped build. He worked on the first two stages of the Saturn V rocket, the one that launched Apollo missions into space. I remember standing in awe beside those enormous structures—and seeing a model of the rocket proudly displayed in his office. I believe he still has the blueprints somewhere, tucked away like national treasures.

Some of my fondest memories were spent with my grandparents. I’d stay with them for weeks at a time during the summers. My grandfather worked at a sawmill, and I loved to play in the towering piles of sawdust. My sister and I would climb all over the equipment when it wasn’t running—something my grandfather would’ve scolded us for had he known. But we weren’t scared. To us, it was just another playground.

When I was twelve, I was diagnosed with Huntington’s Chorea—also known as St. Vitus Dance—a rare neurological disorder that affects motor coordination. Suddenly, I couldn’t tie my shoes or write my name clearly. I spent three months in the hospital. When I came home, my father gave me a Vox guitar, just like the one John Lennon played, hoping it might help me regain dexterity in my hands. I never did master the guitar, but I did eventually take up the drums and grew to be pretty good at it. In high school, I marched with the band and later played in three different local rock groups. One of those bands, The New Life Seekers, was a church group that toured all over the South one summer. That experience introduced me to a lot of good people and left me with a lifetime of memories.

I graduated from Leeds High School in May 1973 and set off for the world, eager to stand on my own. My first stop was Atlanta, where I worked in a factory that made Coca-Cola cans. It was loud, hot, and fast-paced. After about three months, homesickness got the better of me, and I moved back to Alabama. That’s when I got a job at a factory that made steel doors and frames. I started on the floor, welding door frames and loading trucks, but I always had my eye on something more. After three years of hard work, I moved into the engineering office as a draftsman.

That job suited me much better. I’ve always regretted not going to college—it limited my opportunities in some ways—but I’ve been fortunate. I’ve always had work, and often, it was work I genuinely enjoyed.

Over the years, I’ve lived in a lot of places—Miami, Atlanta, San Francisco, Detroit, Chattanooga, St. Augustine, Lexington (South Carolina), and of course, Leeds. Each place has left its mark on me, giving me stories to tell and people to remember.

I’m a reader and a dreamer. Adventure novels and science fiction are my go-to genres. Ray Bradbury and Clive Cussler are two of my favorite authors. I also love art and photography. The artists who speak to me most are Victor Vasarely, Salvador Dali, Picasso, Joan Miró, and a somewhat lesser-known favorite, Brian Halsey.

As for my family: my wife Susan and I have two wonderful children—Michael and Tiffiny—and I’m blessed with four grandchildren: Blake, Braxton, Micah and Makaley. We now we have three great grandchildren, Ariana, Naomi, and Adaline. My parents were LeRoy Howard and Ola Lynette (Stone) Howard. I have three sisters—Janet, Lisa, and Dana—each of whom I love dearly. My grandparents were John Washington Howard, Mamie Roxanne Howard, Oliver Stone, and Hattie Mae Stone. Their legacy is carried in all of us.

And that’s the abridged version of my story—at least the early chapters. There’s more to tell, of course, but this is a start. A life lived in full isn’t measured in résumés or trophies. It’s measured in sawdust piles, drum solos, travel miles, and the people we’ve loved along the way.

Tuesday, July 08, 2025

Mischievous Melvin


 


My first part-time job was at a small family-owned grocery store in town, and I couldn’t have been prouder. It wasn’t much—bagging groceries and hauling them out to customers’ cars—but to me, it meant independence, a paycheck, and a foot in the door of the real working world. I was the youngest “bag boy” on staff, still a little wet behind the ears, eager to prove myself.

The owners were good people—a husband and wife team who ran the place like a well-oiled machine, their daughter working one of the registers with a quiet competence. My first day was mostly a blur of brown paper sacks, awkward pleasantries, and hauling groceries to the parking lot under the watchful eye of the older boys. One senior in high school took me under his wing and promised to show me “how to get the good tips.” His strategy? Compliment the customer, especially if it was someone he already knew. “You been to Gertrude’s today?” he’d ask, nodding to their hairstyle. It worked. He’d walk away with dollar bills while I clutched my fifty-cent coins and tried to remember how to make small talk without sounding like I was reading off a cue card.

But for all the good-hearted lessons and occasional kindness, that grocery store had its dark corners. Literally.

On my very first shift, I made the rookie mistake of waiting too long to use the bathroom, determined to stay on the floor and prove my work ethic. When I finally gave in, I hurried to the back storeroom and into the small bathroom tucked away from view. What I hadn’t noticed was the metal hasp on the outside of the door—the kind you could drop a pin through to lock someone in.

I was no sooner seated than I heard the sharp clink of that hasp slamming shut. A few seconds later, someone slid something under the door.

Ammonia.

The sharp, choking fumes hit me like a punch to the lungs. My eyes burned, and I gasped for breath, panicking, clawing at the door, beating on the walls. I couldn’t breathe. Just when I thought I couldn’t take any more, the door opened. The owner stood there shaking his head. “Those guys, always picking on the new kids,” he muttered, before telling me to clean myself up and get back to work.

That was my welcome to the team.

Then there was Melvin.

Melvin was the store butcher, and he could’ve been plucked straight out of a southern tall tale. He was part storyteller, part jokester, and part mad scientist. One Saturday morning, I arrived to find a small crowd gathered at the back of the store. Melvin stood at the center, a wooden box in his hands. “Caught me a weasel,” he announced, eyes twinkling. The box, he explained, was a trap he’d set in the woods behind his house, where he’d supposedly spent hours waiting for this “vicious little critter” to wander in.

He had us hanging on every word. He warned us the thing was nasty—that it could leap out and latch onto your face if given even the smallest opening. I begged to go first, and Melvin, clearly savoring the moment, agreed. “Just crack it a hair,” he said. “Just a hair.”

I leaned in slowly, eyes inches from the lid. At the perfect moment, Melvin flung the lid open—and a spring-loaded raccoon tail shot out and smacked me right between the eyes. I must’ve jumped ten feet in the air. Melvin howled with laughter. So did everyone else.

He got me again a few months later.

One afternoon, Melvin called me over to the meat counter and handed me a package, about the size of a cigar box, wrapped neatly in white butcher paper. “Take this to the boss,” he said, holding one end while I reached for the other.

The moment I had a grip, I felt like I’d grabbed a live wire.

A jolt shot up my arm like lightning. I screamed and dropped the package as Melvin and the older bag boys nearly collapsed laughing. Once I caught my breath, I couldn’t help but admire the sheer creativity behind it—Melvin was more prankster than butcher, and this was his pièce de résistance.

Later, after enough pleading, Melvin agreed to lend me his “shock box.” He made me promise to return it after one day. I had plans.

I showed it off to my friend Mike, and we hopped on our motorcycles and headed to the Leeds city pool. That’s where we spotted Marilyn. She’d just gotten out of the water and was walking barefoot toward the concession stand.

I called out, “Hey Marilyn, can you take this up to the snack counter for me?”

She smiled, always one to help, and reached for the box.

The moment her fingers wrapped around it, I pressed the hidden button on the other end. The shock that passed through her wet, barefoot body must’ve felt like it came straight from the heavens—or hell. She screamed and let loose a string of profanity I didn’t know she had in her. Mike and I nearly fell over laughing—until the reality of what we’d done hit me. It wasn’t funny. Not really.

Melvin’s box was pure mischief. Inside was an old automotive ignition coil, wired up with a 9-volt battery and a doorbell button. A layer of foil conducted the charge right through the butcher paper. Ingenious. Dangerous, in hindsight. What we thought was a harmless prank could’ve gone very wrong.

And Marilyn, well… I still owe her an apology. A real one. It’s been years, but if I ever cross paths with her again, I’ll say what I should’ve said back then.

We all play the fool when we’re young—especially when we think we’re being clever. And sometimes the best stories are the ones that remind us how much growing up we had to do.


Thursday, June 19, 2025

Cousins Make the Best Friends

 

Cousins Make the Best Friends

When you're a kid, cousins are more than just extended family—they’re your first best friends, your co-conspirators, your partners in crime. For me, time spent with the Barber cousins was golden, filled with scraped knees, laughter, and long summer days that seemed to stretch on forever.

I was still in elementary school when Aunt Nell and Uncle Dan moved their big family from Gate City out to Markeeta, Alabama. They settled into a house on the winding Markeeta Road between Moody and the far end of Lane Drive. Back then, that area was wide open for exploring—woods, fields, and the old strip mines that carved their way through the land like scars from another era. It was a boy's paradise.

Aunt Nell and Uncle Dan had six kids—seven, once Cindy arrived. Layne was the oldest, and I thought he was the coolest guy on earth. He played trumpet in the high school band and spent hours listening to Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, working tirelessly to master “The Lonely Bull.” Next came Danny—quiet, thoughtful, and strong. He was into weightlifting and had a strange habit of inviting us to punch him in the stomach just to prove how tough his abs were. After watching a documentary about Houdini, I remember thinking that might not be the smartest challenge to offer.

Then there was Tony, the artist. He had a real gift and went on to become art director for a television station in Dothan before eventually answering a higher calling and becoming a pastor. Curtis was closest to me in age and probably the smartest of the bunch. He could identify every military aircraft by silhouette, sound, or shadow. No surprise, he ended up a teacher and later a school principal. Then came Stephen, the jokester and tagalong. He was always up for an adventure and usually the first to start laughing and the last to stop. Cindy, the first girl in the lineup, had to be a little tough growing up in that house full of boys, but she held her own with charm and a sharp wit. And finally, there was William—funny, energetic, and endlessly entertaining. He had this ridiculous trick where he’d tuck his ears into his ear canals, run up to you, and pop them out at just the right moment. It never failed to make us laugh.

Weekends and summer days were filled with adventures. We'd hike the strip mines behind their house, wade in creeks, and roam as far as the Cahaba River. Sometimes we’d end up at a place called Blue Hole, a swimming spot near the Trussville Golf Club, or clamber over the massive concrete ruins of the old Washer Camp from the coal mining days—remnants long since buried under layers of dirt and time. After a day out in the Alabama sun, we’d come back to Aunt Nell’s kitchen for a steaming bowl of her goulash with a slab of cornbread on the side. Looking back, I think I would’ve moved in with Aunt Nell and Uncle Dan if I’d had the chance.

Eventually, Uncle Dan answered the call to pastor at Markeeta Baptist Church, and later the family moved again, this time to Harpersville. They lived in a big two-story house we called “the Hill House,” perched behind a cotton field off Highway 280. It had a cellar—always a mysterious place to a curious boy. My sisters and I would visit, running wild through the cotton fields, walking the railroad tracks, and exploring every nook and cranny of that old house and town.

By the time they moved to their next house, Layne and Danny were both grown and married. Curtis had taken to showing off the model airplanes he built with painstaking care. One summer, Curtis took me fishing at a little stream that ran through a nearby pasture. I scoffed at the idea of catching anything in such a shallow trickle—until he pulled out a big bream with his first cast. After that, I was hooked—pun intended. We fished together many times after that, upstream at the spring-fed pond that fed the creek, often tying our rods to our bikes and pedaling off at first light.

It’s funny how vivid those memories are—fishing in the summer sun, climbing through woods and ruins, chasing each other around the mines, ending the day with a meal and a good laugh. Life was simpler, sweeter somehow. And even as time passed and we all grew up and scattered, those moments stayed tucked away in my heart like prized possessions.

Today, I’m on the downhill side of life, and I find myself thinking more and more about those days. We only seem to come together now for funerals, standing in quiet circles of grief, catching up in hushed voices. But I want to change that. We’re all retired now, or near enough to it. Wouldn’t a cousins reunion be something? We could sit around swapping stories—about the time Layne let us ride around the mines in his VW Beetle, or when someone stuck a dart in William’s head (we all remember it; no one knows how it happened), or that wild first car ride with our cousin Kenny.

There’s still time for laughter. Still time for stories. And if I close my eyes, I can still hear the cicadas buzzing over the pasture, smell the goulash in Aunt Nell’s kitchen, and see William running at me, ears tucked in tight, ready to pop.

Cousins really do make the best friends.


Friday, June 13, 2025

The Trophy Fish That Was…Then Wasn’t

 



The Trophy Fish That Was…Then Wasn’t

Dad and I did our best talking in the quiet hush of a lake at dawn. On most Saturdays we kept it local—Lake LoganMartin was practically Dads back yardbut the routine always felt like a grand adventure. Wed hitch the boat to his maroon 64 Impala SuperSport and roll through the sleepy streets of PellCity while the sun was still a rumor.

First stop was always a little mom and pop store, the kind of place that had a little bit of everything including gasoline, motor oil, fish bait, and food. Dad loaded the counter with Saltines, a fist‑sized hunk of hoop cheese, and several tins of Vienna sausages. Breakfast of champions, hed say, sliding coins across the worn pine counter.

By seven‑thirty we were idling away from Nick’s FishCamp, the flat water shining like a sheet of hammered pewter. Dad pointed the bow toward one of his secret spots”—really just half‑remembered coordinates in a mind that mapped the lake better than any chart. He tied on his faithful purple rubber worm and began the slow, meditative dance: cast, count to ten, reel one turn, pause, twitch. I was fifteen, convinced patience was a disease, so I fired a silver Rapala across the cove, snapping the rod tip the way the pros did on television.

We worked three coves that morning, soldiering through a sun‑shower and netting a couple of respectable keepers. Around mid‑afternoon a downed oak caught Dad’s eye—limbs splayed underwater like a giant’s ribs. For once he ditched the worm and clipped on a medium Rapala. One flick of his wrist and that lure landed a whisper away from the branch.

The explosion that followed sounded like someone had dropped a cinder block. Water frothed. Dad’s rod arched so hard I thought it might snap. The fish bored straight down, then rocketed beneath the boat, trimming a perfect figure eight before launching into the air—green bronze and furious. I grabbed the dip net, promptly tangled it in the trolling motor, and caught a burst of uncharacteristic barking from Dad. Lesson learned: sometimes help is a hindrance.

Ten breathless minutes later he brought the bass alongside, coaxing it into the net himself. When the cooler lid slammed shut, Dad’s grin said it all: this was the ten‑pound wall‑hanger he’d chased his whole life.

At the marina near Stemley Bridge, he held court on the dock, retelling the battle to any angler within earshot. “Got to be double digits,” he predicted, easing the fish onto the scale.

Nine pounds, thirteen ounces.

The smile faltered but didn’t fall. “Scales here must be off,” he muttered. We raced to another marina. Nine pounds, eleven. Fish, it turns out, lose water weight faster than pride. Back in the Impala, Dad drove in silence, the cooler gurgling like it knew the verdict.

When we reached our backyard in Leeds, I stood ready for the grand decision—taxidermy or freezer. Dad lifted the bass onto the picnic table, studied it a moment, then fetched the scaling knife. Silver flecks flew like confetti. By dusk the “trophy” was sizzling in a cast‑iron skillet, perfuming the house with cornmeal, Crisco, and a faint hint of humility.

He never mentioned that fish again. For Dad, a goal unmet—no matter how close—was simply that. Close didn’t count; standards were standards. Yet I think he knew the lesson landed anyway. I learned that day that sticking to your word is worth more than bragging rights on a wall—and that sometimes the real prize is a quiet evening, a plate of fresh‑fried bass, and the memory of a battle shared between father and son.


Thursday, June 12, 2025

My Hero, My Dad



LeRoy Howard – My Hero, My Dad

On March 5, 1929, in a small wood-framed house beside a sawmill in Eden, Alabama, my grandparents John W. Howard and Mamie Roxanne welcomed their fifth child—a boy. The house had no hospital bed, no white coats, just a cast iron potbelly stove for warmth and a midwife to guide new life into the world. When the midwife asked what to name him, Mamie answered plainly, “His name is Lee Roy.” But the midwife, perhaps out of habit or preference, wrote “LeRoy” on the birth certificate. It was never corrected. From that moment on, every legal document bore the name “LeRoy Howard,” and that curious little quirk—(n) for middle name—followed him his entire life.

There is so much I wish I could tell you about my dad’s early years, but the truth is, I don’t know much. That’s one of my deepest regrets—never sitting down with him long enough, or often enough, just to ask. To listen. To understand the man who raised me. I knew him best in the years after he married my mom, Lynette, and started our family. But before that, he had already lived a remarkable life.

Dad was only ten when World War II broke out, but even as a boy he was stirred by a deep sense of patriotism. Like so many young men of his generation, he couldn’t wait to serve his country. The story in our family was that my grandparents “fudged” his age so he could enlist, and I always assumed he’d joined at seventeen. But digging into records years later, I discovered the truth: my dad was just sixteen and a half when he joined the U.S. Navy on September 17, 1945—barely more than a boy, heading off to basic training in San Diego, California.

During his Navy service, Dad served aboard several ships, including the U.S.S. Thippe, Cortland, Frontier, Frank Knox, Lloyd Thomas, and Keppler. He rose to the rank of Boatswain’s Mate Third Class by 1948 and received the World War II Victory Medal, the China Service Medal, and the Good Conduct Medal. For a kid from Pell City, Alabama, those were no small achievements. He came home a seasoned young man with the world already written into his eyes.

After the Navy, the country was booming. The GI Bill gave returning veterans a path to opportunity, and my dad wasted no time. He began learning sheet metal forming before he even left the service. After discharge, he worked at United States Steel in Fairfield, commuting over 70 miles from Eden, carpooling along old Highway 78. But fate had other plans. In January 1952, a tragic accident near Cook Springs changed everything. A freight truck lost its brakes and crushed the car Dad was riding in. One man died. Dad and two others were critically injured.

He spent three months recovering. When he was well enough, he and his brother Adran opened a small gas station right in front of the sawmill, next door to home. It wasn’t a long-term success—neither of them were especially business-minded, more interested in fast cars and long nights. But it gave them freedom and a little money to enjoy life. Dad spent many of those nights at places like The Robert L Club or Rose Hill Night Club, where music and laughter flowed freely.

It was during this time that he briefly dated a young woman named Theo Stone. Things didn’t click, but one day he came knocking again—this time not for Theo, but for her younger sister, Lynette. That visit changed everything.

Dad went to work for Hayes Aircraft on June 10, 1953. A year later, in late May 1954, he proposed. They were married on June 5, 1954, and life began in earnest. Together, they raised four children—myself, Ronald LeRoy, born in 1955, followed by my sisters: Janet, Lisa, and Dana.

Dad never stopped striving. He worked his way up at Hayes, completing the Modern Management Program in 1960, and earned a supervisor role. In 1967, he began working on the legendary Saturn V project. Hayes had been contracted to build the launch umbilical tower’s swing arms at Cape Canaveral. While Dad didn’t work on the rocket itself, he worked on a full-size mock-up of the booster’s first stage, a task he took great pride in. One of my fondest memories is the day he took me to his workplace. I still remember the massive bay floor, the model of the Saturn V rocket, and the way his office overlooked it all. In that moment, he seemed larger than life.

Later, with Hayes’ target division, Dad traveled widely—even to the White Sands Missile Range, where he met Chuck Yeager more than once. Though he rarely bragged, you could always tell when something meant something to him. That was one of those things.

Away from work, Dad found peace in the quiet of nature. He loved to fish, especially at Lake Eufaula. His tackle box was full, but it was the purple rubber worm he trusted most. And no matter how long it took for a bite, he never lost patience.

He loved numbers—math problems, logic puzzles, strategy. Every night after dinner, he’d sit down and conquer the New York Times crossword puzzle. He had a razor-sharp mind and expected the same drive from us. Education was non-negotiable. He wanted all his kids to go farther than he had, to reach higher, think deeper.

He was also a man of faith, and he lived it—not in a showy way, but steady and sincere. He gave countless hours to his church and to Carpenters for Christ, where he found purpose in both fellowship and labor.

Of course, my dad wasn’t perfect. He stumbled sometimes, like all of us do. But he always found his way back. His faith, his love for family, and his relentless work ethic guided him home each time. He never wavered in his commitment to us—his family. Because of him and my mom, I had a wonderful childhood. I grew up safe, cared for, and loved.

Dad passed away on June 2, 2015. Now, ten years later, with Father’s Day approaching again, I find myself missing him more than ever. I talk to him often—at least in my heart. I thank him daily for the gifts he passed down: his mechanical skill, his sharp logic, and the unshakable sense of responsibility he lived by.

I wish I had taken more time to ask questions, to really know the man behind the tools, the math puzzles, and the quiet strength. There are so many mysteries about his life I’ll never solve. But I do know this:

He was my dad. He was my hero.

Sunday, June 08, 2025

The Summer of ’68 and the Great Treehouse


A Story of Friendship, Bullies, and One Lost Tooth

It was the summer of 1968, and I had just turned thirteen. I was still a wimpy kid in most folks’ eyes—especially after the year I’d had. A year and half earlier, I’d spent time in the hospital with Huntington’s Chorea, what the old folks called St. Vitus Dance. It had left me shaky, jerky, and worst of all, unable to do the simplest thing most kids take for granted—tie my own shoes. That stayed with me until I was about fifteen. It was a humbling thing.

That summer, though, was supposed to be the start of something better.

School was going to change soon. Back then in Leeds, we didn’t have middle school. You went from seventh grade at Leeds Elementary straight over to the high school across town for eighth grade. It was a big leap. Everyone whispered stories about the upperclassmen and how they’d torment us—wedgies, ear thumps, ripping the locker loops off your shirts. I only ever got a few good ear thumps, but still, I wasn’t exactly eager about the change.

But before high school, there was still summer—and we planned to make the most of it.

Bart Mitchell, Dennis McGee, and Jeff White were still my best buddies, but they didn’t live in my neighborhood. I had to deal with the neighborhood bullies on my own. It seemed like every time we built a fort or a treehouse, they’d find it and either tear it down or take it over. So that year, we decided to stretch our boundaries.

My sisters and I had passes to the Leeds city pool, but you can only swim so many hours in a day. When we weren’t at the pool, we explored the woods. Back then, where Pinecrest Apartments stand now, it was all wild land—stretching from Highway 78 to Valley View Baptist, from President Street to Carolyn Street in Cahaba Hills. A kid could get lost in there all day.

That’s where we planned our next great treehouse—hidden away from the road and far enough from Rew Development to keep the bullies at bay.

I had started hanging out with Jack and Gary Meacham, and together with my sisters, we set out to build the ultimate treehouse. Valley View Baptist was building a new education wing, and it provided a steady supply of scrap lumber—no piece too small. We’d haul off what we could and spent weeks working on that thing. It was our clubhouse, our hideaway, our castle in the trees.

Jack and Gary didn’t come out much once the building was done, but one of my sisters’ friends, Terry Penny, visited now and again. For a while, the treehouse felt like the safest, most comfortable place in the world. Maybe too safe. I got careless and told a few too many people about it. Worse, I invited a couple to help finish it up. I won’t name names, but that turned out to be a mistake.

School started back in the fall, but after school, we’d still hang out there, adding little touches and just enjoying the space. Then one day, Jack and I decided to check on the treehouse—and found it ruined.

It was completely destroyed. Lumber was scattered everywhere, and some of it had ugly words scrawled on it—leaving little doubt who was responsible. Turns out, one of the people I’d trusted had gone to his buddies in Cahaba Hills and told them about it. They brought in a couple of the regular bullies, and together, they tore the whole thing apart.

I went home that day feeling sick and betrayed. I figured that was the end of it.

But Jack had other plans.

The next day at school, he was fired up. He was determined to call out the guys who’d done it and make them pay. Now, when I say “pay,” I mean a good old-fashioned fistfight. You see, we all rode the same school bus, and except for one, we all got off at the same stop—Rowan Springs.

Word spread fast. By the time the final bell rang, it seemed like half the bus knew about the fight and got off to watch.

Now here’s the thing: the treehouse was mostly mine. I was the one wronged. But I was also the wimpy kid. I’d only been in one fight before, and I got the “dog crap beat out of me,” as the saying goes. Knocked down over and over until a bystander took pity and broke it up.

So there I was that day—just an onlooker again. But Jack stepped up.

Funny thing is, Jack hadn’t even cared all that much about the treehouse. But he saw the injustice, and that was enough for him. He called out one of the guys—not even the ringleader, just one of the crew who helped tear it down.

The fight started—and what a fight it was.

They went at it for what seemed like an hour, both landing punches that would’ve made a prizefighter proud. The crowd was roaring. Then, near the end, Jack took a hard punch right to the face. He stood firm, but the other guy howled and said he’d broken his hand. That ended the fight.

Later, we figured out why—he’d actually broken one of Jack’s front teeth. Jack never fixed it. He wore that chipped tooth like a badge of honor from that day on.

Jack and I stayed good friends all through high school. After that, life scattered us. I spent most of the next forty years living in other states. Jack built a business not too far from Leeds. Whenever he visited his folks, he’d stop by my parents’ place and ask about me.

It was always a rare treat when I happened to be home at the same time. We’d sit and talk for hours about the old days.

Then one day, visiting my dad’s grave at Lawley’s Chapel Cemetery, I noticed another familiar name—Jack Meacham. He’d passed in 2019 at just 64.

A good friend, gone too soon.

If your car ever got hit by a snowball on President Street during one of our rare Alabama snowfalls—that was probably me and Jack. Mischief-makers and treehouse builders, just trying to make a summer last forever.

Friday, May 30, 2025

1984: Heartbreak and a Year of Living Dangerously

 


1984: Heartbreak and a Year of Living Dangerously

Back in 1980, I packed up my whole life and moved to South Florida with Melissa, my wife. I’d landed a job as Chief Engineer for Firedoor Corporation of America in Miami. That title sounded mighty important at the time—had a nice ring to it on a business card—but truth be told, it didn’t change much. I was still doing the same kind of work, just with a shinier label. Still, the pay was better and I thought I was climbing the ladder.

Melissa and I settled into Hollywood, Florida—just a stone’s throw north of Miami—and except for a guy named Tom Stone, an old co-worker of mine, we didn’t know a soul down there. That kind of lonely gets into your bones after a while, but I was chasing something I couldn’t quite name. More money, more status, maybe just trying to prove something to myself.

My folks back in Leeds, Alabama, used to say they wished I’d find what I was looking for and settle down. What they meant was, “Come on back home, son.” But I’d gotten a taste of city life—restaurants, nightlife, even had a membership to the Miami Playboy Club where I’d take clients for lunch. Yeah, it was that kind of life.

Then everything changed.

Around 1983, Melissa started showing signs that something wasn’t right. She was off balance, got weak and confused at times. Eventually the doctors told us she had multiple sclerosis and sarcoidosis affecting her brain and lungs. It was like getting the wind knocked out of us, and the first doctor gave us hope that never really showed up.

After a few months of hospital visits and no improvement, we brought her back home to Birmingham and checked her into Brookwood Medical Center. That’s when we heard the hard truth. She wasn’t going to get better. We decided she’d stay with my folks in Leeds so I could keep working. They took such good care of her—waited on her hand and foot like she was royalty.

I brought her back to Florida for a while, but it was just too much. She couldn’t be alone, and I couldn’t be there all day. She started imagining things—wild stories she’d tell me when I got home, stuff that clearly hadn’t happened. That’s when I knew she was slipping away. Another doctor gave us the final blow: there was no recovery in sight. I sent her to spend some time with her family in North Carolina. We talked all the time, but my work started to suffer.

She came back to Florida one more time, but things got worse. She fell into a coma not long after being admitted to the hospital again. Her folks and younger brother came down to be with us.

On Valentine’s Day 1984, the doctors told me she wouldn’t make it through the night. That same day, my sister Lisa was in labor with my niece, Cory. I leaned down and whispered in Melissa’s ear, “Please don’t go today. Lisa’s in labor.” I like to think she heard me because she hung on a couple more days. She passed peacefully on the evening of February 16.

Her body was flown home to Birmingham, and two coworkers drove me back to Leeds. I was numb. I remember almost nothing from those days, just flashes. What I do remember is this: the love people had for Melissa. The funeral procession stretched for miles. My dad said, “If you want to know how much she was loved, just look behind us.”

I went back to Miami, but I was just going through the motions. I didn’t pray. I didn’t lean on my church. I was mad at God—angry in a way that only a broken man can be. I started drinking, then spiraling. The nights got longer, the mornings got harder. I’d wake up with hangovers in strange places—sometimes in Liberty City, sometimes in Little Havana. Bars, backseats, bad decisions.

I started mixing in drugs—weed, cocaine. I saw some dark things in that world. Beatings. A shooting. Honestly, I think I was trying to die without doing it myself. I just didn’t want to be here anymore. But, somehow, God didn’t let me go.

Then one day, Larry Masters called. We’d worked together back in Leeds. He said the company we worked for had moved to Dothan, Alabama, and they needed an Engineering Manager. I said, “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” It was the first good decision I’d made in a while.

I flew to Dothan, took the job, rented a house, and started digging myself out of debt and despair. I still cried most nights, but work kept my hands busy. The new company was learning how to deal with custom architectural jobs, and I was the guy explaining the ins and outs of it all. That challenge helped steady me.

Then one day, Vic Shultz walked into my office.

Vic was all swagger—red-haired, straight outta Wisconsin, and full of confidence. He threw a little get-together at his apartment clubhouse and made it his mission to pull me out of my funk. We'd talk, sit around listening to music, and slowly I came back to life. Vic had just gotten out of a bad marriage—I never asked questions—and he was always chasing women. One day he was dating a convenience store manager named Margaret, and she had a roommate named Susan.

One night, Vic tells Margaret, “There’s this guy I work with, widowed, sad, good heart—you need to set him up with Susan.” Margaret brings it up to Susan who replies, “Fine, but the guy better not be expecting any hanky-panky.” (Her words, not mine.)

We went to dinner and then out dancing at a place called The Red Barn. I danced one dance—I’m awful—and then we mostly just talked. Susan could talk up a storm. She loved her kids, Tiffiny and Michael, and told me all about them. I liked her right away, but we didn’t see each other again for a while.

A few months later, I ran into her at the convenience store where she worked. We started talking again, and eventually we went out a second time. That night she told me more about her life, her friend Pat who was like a mother to her, and her family in Leesburg, Florida. When she talked about her kids, her whole face lit up.

She invited me over to meet them. Tiffiny put on a whole show, acting like a movie star. Michael came bursting in from outside yelling, “Mom, he’s got a limo!”—because of my tinted windows. I laughed harder than I had in months. When I left that night, all three of them hugged me. It felt like coming home.

The more time I spent with them, the more I felt like I belonged somewhere again.

One night, I told Susan I wanted to marry her—but I asked the kids first. Tiffiny ran to get Michael, and when I said I wanted to marry their mama, they both lit up. Michael hugged me and said, “I’m gonna have a Daddy!” I cried like a baby. We got married the very next day. Vic was my best man.

Not everyone tells this story the same. There are things about 1984 that are just between me and God. There are parts of Dothan I’ve left out on purpose, and Vic, bless him, has kept those chapters closed too.

I don’t see Vic much anymore—haven’t laid eyes on him since 1995—but he’s still in my life, in that quiet way only old friends can be. He shows up in my Facebook feed, and I know he’s still watching out for me.

So Vic, if you’re reading this—mark your calendar for the end of August. I’m coming to see you. We’ll drink to old times and new ones, to the wives we love and the kids that saved us. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll smoke a stogey and remember what it felt like to be invincible.

A Personal History (abridged)

Updated from the 2005 original It was one of those cold, lazy weekends when I meant to do everything but ended up doing nothing. Yard work w...